Instant death
by Resha Tsubaki
Summary: "Fleet admiral Sengoku, sir, I regret to announce you that Vice-admiral Garp the Fist was killed by Morgan." Uh? What had that idiot done this time?


Reading a new report, Sengoku frowned. It was not hard in theory to have a good day. Theorically, if every marine did his or her job, everything would be simple. But, of course, some, especially one, just had to listen to no one. Out of the blue, Garp had told him a few days ago that he had some business in East Blue, his birth sea, and that he would not be in the Grand Line for a while. He had heard him claim something about going to pick up his grandson that was going to become a great marine, as if it justified everything. The Fleet admiral had to admit that he would rather have Dragon's son in the Marine under Garp's supervision than as a pirate. However, in both situations the destructive tendencies of the Monkey D. family would cause damage to the Justice.

As much as Sengoku got along with the hero, this guy was absolutely tiring. For example, the last time he had called him on his den den mushi about five days ago, it was to tell him that he intended to beat his record of eating doughnuts: the last time, he managed to eat eight hundred twenty-six in five days and eight hours (after that, there were some rookies that distracted him and then he fell asleep out of the blue because the weather was nice or whatever excuse he had).

Why he knew this record so accurately, you ask? Well, he would not even remember it existed if that idiot did not spend his time repeating it whenever they had a reunion with other high-ranked officers. What glory or pride was there in eating so much doughnuts? Sengoku had stopped wondering after all these years they spent together.

At any rate, he had heard yesterday from a random officer (Garp was too busy eating to do his report himself) that he was taking a detour to pick up ex-Colonel Morgan, a corrupted marine from Shell Town. He did not have the details and expected that fool to explain the situation when he was done trying to beat his damn record (what was the point in doing so anyway?). Well, it was only a Colonel, so escorting him to Impel Down was just a formality.

That's why Sengoku did not understand at all what this call was about.

"Fleet admiral Sengoku! I am Commander Ripper! I am sorry, I do not know how to say it, but..."

"What is it?" he answered. What was it about, now? Why was a Commander using Garp's den den mushi that had a direct line to his?

"Yes, sir!" Fear and anxiety could be heard in his voice. "I am sorry, I do not know how I could let such a thing happen, but..."

Sengoku wanted to snap. What had Garp done this time? Did he really need to wreck havoc everywhere he went? His recklessness did not get better with age...

"I regret to announce you that Vice-admiral Garp the Fist has passed away."

Uh? What?

"What do you mean, what happened?!"

"While we were on the ship and heading towards the next island, Vice-admiral Garp was attacked by Morgan who then escaped on a boat! We are currently trying to stop him!"

… What was going on in East Blue? Sengoku stared at his den den mushi. Could he not even apprehend a criminal without making a fool of himself? As if the man who stood up to Gold Roger would let someone from the weakest sea kill him. Even though he was not there to see what was happening on the ship, he somehow managed to understand the whole deal. He could not help sighing.

"Okay, call me if there is something important."

"Wha-!"

The Justice maker did not let the Commander finish and hang up. No way was he going to deal with the paperwork that Garp was going to cause: if he understood correctly, he was somehow killed by some Colonel who then escaped. Great. How was he going to explain that he, a Vice-admiral, had lost to someone so low-ranked compared to himself? Not that it was any of his problem, but now he would have to deal with it if the Gorosei ever heard of this event. No way was he going to tell.

Since the call was unimportant, Sengoku went back to his work: he had always been diligent with paperwork, never tolerating a single second late. Just as he was deep in concentration, his den den mushi rang again.

"Yes?" he answered.

"Yo, Sengoku! I have a lot of things to tell you!"

"Oh, isn't that you, Garp. I heard that you died. I take it that you're fine now?"

"Fine?" he yelled. "How can I be fine? I just beat my record when I fell asleep! I could have done much better! It's awful!"

Calm, Sengoku, calm. Do not play his game. Do not snap. So he fell asleep. He should have expected such a ridiculous explanation.

"Anything else you need to tell me, Garp?"

"Ah, yeah. A cannon somehow broke when I woke up. Geez, that stuff is so fragile. I guess it needs to be changed. Oh, and Morgan escaped because there was no cannon after that. Now that I think about it, I could have thrown some cannon balls at him after the two brats fell overboard. Oh, well."

Breathe, Sengoku. In. Out. In.

"By the way, Luffy left to become a pirate, but I found promising replacements for my idiotic grandsons. Now that I think about it, they are the reason why Morgan escaped."

That was it. Sengoku snapped.

* * *

 **Just a random idea that I had.**

 **You can review en français, in english, по-русски, en español.**


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